This is the first Father’s Day in my entire life that I have not had a father on Father’s Day. And yes, it does feel different.
A year ago today was the last Father’s Day I would ever have with my father. I kind of knew it because of his declining condition due to prostate cancer, but there’s that darned blinder called hope that gets in the way of the obvious sometimes.
My wife and I made the trip to my folks’ house beginning at about 4pm on Saturday afternoon. I had finally finished and successfully burned a DVD of my tribute video of and for my dad. It was to be my present for him, and it went way over time-budget.
Everything
made sense
later.We called my mom to let her know were were on our way—having not really planned anything with her or them for our visit. We were already 125 miles into the trip when we called her, and for the first time in my life, my mom didn’t sound joyful that I was coming to visit.
Everything made sense later. She was dealing with my dad’s last days, and couldn’t fathom house guests.
We got in around 2 or 3am and went to bed, early that Father’s Day. Mom and Dad were asleep in the family room, where Dad slept in his hospital bed, and mom on the couch.
In the morning, when Teresa and I finally arose, we walked into the family room, and my Dad was dressed in slacks and a purple Hawaiian shirt, and sitting up in his recliner to greet us. My mom had gotten him out of his hospital bed and dressed him up, combed his hair, and washed him up to look presentable.
She did such a good job that I had no idea how close to death he was. Later in the afternoon, we watched my video for him. The picture above is of us watching it together. My brother captured that moment on his camera, and I will forever be grateful. My father died eight days later. I had no idea his death was coming that soon.
My own Father’s Day, today, is spent with just Lauren, the youngest of my three children. I made a good “man breakfast” for us; bacon and eggs and toast. Just the two of us all weekend. I’ve been loving it!
Father’s Days are just different, from here on out.
June 19, 2006 at 12:42 pm
One of those wailing moments is upon me. I can’t stop. What a description of last Father’s Day. I shall be ever grateful to you for making that Tribute Video for your Dad. I still can’t believe that “I won!”
June 19, 2006 at 5:05 pm
Thank you for sharing such a personal moment. I was touched by your description and memories of the day.
June 20, 2006 at 7:17 am
Very powerful, Dave. Thanks for a behind-the-scenes look at your last special day with your dad.
June 26, 2006 at 10:40 am
Your dad, like my nephew (KIA Iraq 4/18/06) spent his first Father’s Day with his heavenly father, I was thinking that day.