Sugar, Common Sense and Personal Responsibility

Recently a woman died from drinking too much bottled water and choosing not to urinate in an attempt to win a radio station’s “Hold Your Wee for a Wii” contest a (the Wii [pronounced Wee] is a newish video game console). I didn’t know you could die from drinking too much water, other than the more common name for it: drowning — which I think is technically breathing too much water. But back to my point: I feel sorry for her and her family. She was trying to do something nice for her kids. She wanted to win them a game. And she died. This is sad, and it is tragic, and ignorant people such as myself now know not to drink a lot of water and not urinate. Lesson learned. No longer ignorant on that point.

A couple of decades back, a guy picked up his gas powered rotary lawnmower in an effort to trim his hedges flat. He did this while the mower was running. He cut off his fingers. Lesson learned. While I like to think I would have never thought of something that inept, I must cop to having jumped off my roof with an umbrella when I was 7. I wanted to float like Mary Poppins. I didn’t break anything, but the impact was memorable. Lesson Learned.

But the man with no fingers [found a lawyer with no scruples who] sued the lawnmower manufacturer for not warning that you should not pick up a lawnmower while it’s running. He won a lot of money, and now all American-sold lawnmowers have stickers on them that tell you it’s dangerous to pick up a lawnmower while it’s running.

I’m thinking “Duh!”

The Wii woman’s family is suing the Radio Station that ran the contest. Everyone involved has been fired. The family (or their lawyer) is calling for the FCC to take away the radio station’s broadcasting license.

Blame Game
Why does blame always have to be assigned to or shared with someone else? Why can’t people have a lapse of judgment resulting in injury and just say “Crap, I shouldn’t have done that!“? Why does the radio station’s janitor and his family, and the parking lot attendant and her family, and the mail room staff and their families all have to lose their jobs, their income, their security because someone’s mom decided not to urinate when she really, really had an urge to? (Incidentally, she came in second, losing to someone who drank even more water, and lived).

I feel very badly for the family that lost their mom. It’s probably going to be embarrassing to tell how they lost their mom. But it’s nobody’s fault! It’s just unfortunate!

Eating Oleander leaves will kill you. Poison Oak makes you itch. Rattlesnakes can really hurt you. You can cook and eat chicken eggs, regardless of where they appear to have exited the chicken. Jumping off a bridge will not kill you — but the inevitable and extreme Rapid Deceleration Trauma can. We know these things because of reason. Over time, we figured these things out by watching the success or failure of others.

Hey, Where’s My Sugar Bowl and Spoon?
In my lifetime, words began to appear on cereal boxes: Serving Suggestion. This is because someone sued a cereal company (and won) when they did not find fresh strawberries among the flakes in their box.

Am I the only one who wants to knock really hard on some people’s foreheads and shout “Hello?!”

I bought a bag of sugar last night. In the lower left corner there were the words Serving Suggestion.

What.

I will not find a sugar bowl or spoon in the packaging? I don’t have to use a full teaspoon when serving sugar to myself. A blue cartoon bowl and spoon aren’t the only way to use the enclosed product? There are not really blue and white dots in the product? What is the suggestion? What are they helping me with? What are they protecting themselves from?

We are only one lawsuit away from all bottled water having a warning on the label:

Warning: Consuming too much of this product and not heeding your body’s natural urge to urinate could result in injury or death. Use with extreme caution. Supervision is highly recommended for anyone born during or after the 1970s when all common sense was bred out of the human race (see that period’s clothing and hairstyles for substantiation).