A divorce could be quicker.

I have been using Stamps.com for several years, but due to the price bump, and not much need for their service anymore, since I still have to drive 4 miles to drop off packages at the Post Office—which has postage kiosk in the lobby, anyway—I have decided to dump my Stamps.com service.

I expressed my dissatisfaction with Stamps.com in an earlier post. But I have to tell you that they are compounding my dissatisfaction by the minute as I wait on hold to terminate my service with them.

When you call their toll-free number [888.434.0055 — go on, call it!] you are more likely to get a busy signal.

When I finally did get through to the recorded computer voice, one of the options to choose was “If you’d like to terminate your service, press 2.”

At this moment that was over 15 minutes ago.

I have no proof of this, but I would imagine that pressing 2 is, by design, the worst choice you can make, as it probably shuffles your call priority to the bottom. What kind of company wants to jump right on a customer service call when they have already been alerted that they won’t be receiving any more of their money?

I remember waiting on hold seemingly forever the last time I called to see if there was a lesser fee than the $16/month they had just automatically “upgraded me” to after two or three years at $4.99/month.

If you can print your own postage some other way, you might just want to stick with that rather than Stamps.com.

Update
It is now officially 34 minutes since I called, and I am still on hold. I have spoken with no one. You may be asking yourself why I wait?

Because I am just that patient.

And besides, I have a headset plugged into my phone, and fortunately they are playing very nice piano music on their hold system, reminiscent of one of my favorite piano-only artists, Todd Schroeder.

And I have ADD on my side. Virtually anything can distract me from the fact that I am on hold. Hey, I think I’ll write a blog entry.

See?

Beauty.

At 42 minutes on hold
…I finally got through to “Tony” who let me know that they wll be refunding the $14.00 I still have in my account, “but since it does come directly from the US Postal Service, it will take from 4 to 6 weeks to arrive.”

Hello? Does that make any sense to anyone reading this?